Three Months to Forever Page 9

  Amy and Winston were right. He knew it deep in his heart, even if he didn’t like them pointing it out to him. He was in dangerous territory, except there was nowhere else he wanted to be. It felt right to be here, to be with Ben. It terrified him, scared him to the core that Ben would one day leave.

  But those smiles, those wide, innocent, clear blue eyes, the earnest questions, and eagerness to experience life to the fullest. Sai was hooked on those. And then there were those times when Ben ducked his head shyly and parted his lips in desire, when he knew exactly how to respond to Sai in bed—Sai was well and truly addicted.

  They spent the rest of the evening in the casino. For someone who worked in finance and was surrounded by numbers all day, Ben was terrible at blackjack. Sai tried not to smile at Ben’s mock outrage every time he lost, but he failed miserably. It was hard when the outrage was always followed by twinkling eyes and a contagious laugh. Even when he was losing, Ben was all innocent exuberance, and Sai couldn’t get enough of it.

  The others in the group wanted to go to another club that night. But Sai wasn’t feeling up to dealing with the people and the loud music, even if it meant he could get Ben dancing all over him again. But then he didn’t need a club for that. From across the group, Ben sent him a questioning look, and Sai returned it with a look of his own: he adjusted the set of his shoulders, slid his hands into his pockets, and narrowed his eyes just a fraction. Ben got the message. His mouth gaped right before he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth.

  Sai made excuses for himself and Ben and ignored the pointed glare Winston hurled his way. He could almost feel the daggers stabbing him in the back as they walked away. For a split second, Sai wondered whether it was better for them to go out with the rest of the group. But then they managed to get an elevator all to themselves and Ben gazed at him through those dark-blond lashes, and all thoughts of partying became irrelevant. They would have their own party that night.

  Chapter Ten

  Tuesday, October 3

  THE PHONE rang and rang and rang. It went to voicemail, first in Cantonese and then in English. Ben had decided he liked it when Sai spoke Cantonese. Something about that deep rumbling voice muttering sounds Ben couldn’t comprehend was hot as hell—except when it was in a voicemail message.

  Then a text message came through.

  Sai: Sorry, I can’t talk tonight. Something’s come up, and I’ll be at work all night.

  Weird. Sai usually worked late but had always been able to spare even a couple of minutes for them to check in. Maybe it was the long weekend they spent in Macau. Sai said he usually took work home for the holidays, but they had spent Sunday by the pool, lounging in a cabana, stealing touches and kisses behind the sheer curtains, and then Monday morning in bed with Sai turning him inside out with pleasure. Ben could still feel the delicious aches in his muscles from where Sai made him hold a position while he pounded his ass.

  Ben: That’s okay. How was your day?

  No response. Not for fifteen minutes, then twenty. Thirty minutes later:

  Sai: Busy. Lots of work. Sorry, can’t talk.

  Ben stared at his phone. They were just words on a screen, but they screamed that something was wrong.

  Ben: Are you okay? Did something happen?

  Sai: No, everything’s fine. Sorry. Just busy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

  Ben: Yeah. Sure. Good night.

  Wednesday, October 4

  BEN: HEY, how’s your day?

  Sai: It’s fine. Yours?

  Ben reread the three short words, knowing something was wrong with Sai but unable to say why. There was dread in the pit of his stomach, and though it had only been two days since he’d last seen Sai, the feeling was real and tangible. He told himself he was blowing things out of proportion; he told himself that he was being silly. But still the feeling wouldn’t go away.

  Ben: It was okay. Long, but not as long as yours :) Can you talk?

  Sai: Not right now. I’ll call you later.

  Later never came.

  Saturday, October 7

  “SO WHERE’S your lawyer, lover boy?” Mo asked as he gunned down some unnamed soldier on the TV screen.

  Ben punched some buttons on his controller and watched as his character threw a grenade into a bunker. “He’s busy.” The excuse slipped off his tongue with as much conviction as he felt about blowing up imaginary enemies in a video game—not very much.

  “So that’s why you came over to take advantage of my PS4?” Mo’s tone was teasing, but Ben did kind of feel bad about that.

  He debated whether he should voice his concerns while clearing the bunker and picking up a cache of ammo. “I think he’s giving me the brush-off.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mo shoot him a quick look before turning back to the game. “Oh yeah? I thought things were going well.”

  “I thought so too.” On the screen his character got shot in the back and fell to the ground. “But we haven’t really talked since getting back from Macau on Monday.”

  “Maybe he’s really just busy. You said things were fucked-up with his job, right?”

  “Yeah….” Ben’s character revived on the screen and he fired some shots in the general direction of the bad guys, hoping he’d get lucky and hit one of them.

  “So maybe things are just extra fucked-up this week.” A notification popped onto the screen, informing them that Mo had leveled up. “I’m tired of this map. Want to switch to another one?”

  Ben shrugged. “Sure.” He slouched back into the couch as the next map loaded. “I sometimes wonder if he’s avoiding me.”

  “You think he is?”

  “I don’t know. He does have a demanding job. Maybe I’m being too sensitive.”

  They played on for a couple more minutes before Mo responded. “Man, that sucks. Is he a grand gesture type of guy? Like flowers and chocolates and shit like that? Always works with the girls.”

  Ben let out a dry chuckle. No, Sai didn’t seem like a grand gesture type of guy—at least not one with flowers and chocolates, and certainly not if they were going to show up at his office. But Mo did have a point: maybe Ben did need to do something to show Sai he was there and committed to whatever this was, for however long they had it. The question was, what the hell was he supposed to do?

  Wednesday, October 11

  BEN STEPPED through the sliding doors and into the blast of air-conditioning in the 7-Eleven. The weather was finally cooling as they moved toward the autumn, but it was still too hot to be comfortable for Ben. He went directly to the row of refrigerators that held the cold drinks and proceeded to load up on as many iced coffees as he could carry in his arms.

  On his way to the cash register, the local Chinese newspaper caught his eye. Or rather the picture of Sai on the front page caught his eye. Sai looked like he was giving some sort of press conference, with a million microphones stuck in his face. Ben’s attention automatically went to the caption beneath the photo, and then he cursed himself when the words were all in Chinese.

  He grabbed a copy of the newspaper, dropping one of the bottles while he was at it. Goddamn it. Unloading his goods on the counter, he went after the stray bottle, and by the time he came back, the cashier was already ringing up his purchase.

  “Can you tell me what this story is about?” he asked while pointing to the story with Sai’s picture.

  The cashier took the newspaper out of his hand and made to ring it up, pausing with a questioning look on her face.

  “No, I don’t want to buy it. Can you just tell me what the story is about?” he asked again, pointing to Sai’s photo.

  She spouted a bunch of words at him that he didn’t understand and then went and scanned the newspaper through anyway.

  “Fine. Whatever,” he muttered under his breath. He paid and grabbed the bag with his bottles of iced coffee and the newspaper and rushed out into the heat.

  When he got back to the office, he took the newspaper and went in
search of Macey. Macey’s family was originally from Hong Kong, but she had grown up in Vancouver; she could still read Chinese pretty well. He found her in the photocopier room.

  “Macey! Can I ask you a favor?”

  “Sure, what do you need?” She stapled presentations together as she spoke.

  “Can you translate this article for me?” Ben held out the newspaper, heart in his throat.

  “This one?” She frowned in concentration as she pointed to the front-page article.

  “Yeah, that’s Sai in the picture.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh yeah! Damn, he looks hot in a suit.” She winked at Ben teasingly.

  He smiled because it was true, but he also really needed to know what the goddamn article was about. “Yeah, he does. Sorry, but the article?”

  She wiggled her eyebrows at him before turning her attention back to the newspaper. Ben didn’t know whether she was slow at reading Chinese or whether he was just really impatient, but it seemed to take her forever. The longer she read, the deeper her frown became, and the more worried Ben got. When she finally looked up, Ben was shifting from foot to foot in his anxiety.

  “Um, it’s kind of complicated,” Macey began.

  “Yeah?”

  “So this couple, the Leungs.” She pointed to a man and woman standing behind Sai, the same couple Ben had seen that day at dim sum. “They’re, like, moguls of some sort—in manufacturing. They’ve been accused of corruption and stuff, illegal lobbying of the local government and a whole bunch of things. Anyway, I think the main point of the story is that there was a huge fire in one of their factories, and several of the factory workers died. They’re being sued by, like, almost everyone, it sounds like.”

  Damn—so this was what Sai had been dealing with. “When did the fire happen?”

  “Um….” Macey scanned the page again. “A week ago? I think? And this picture was taken yesterday at the courthouse.”

  Ben let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Oh, Sai. He could just imagine how much stress Sai was under with a situation like this.

  “Okay, thanks.” Ben took the newspaper back.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  He took a moment before answering. “I don’t know. I hope so, but I’m not sure.”

  Ben texted Sai as soon as he got back to his desk, mentioning the newspaper article. He felt terrible about assuming the worst of Sai, thinking that Sai had been avoiding him or giving him the brush-off. Instead, it looked like things with the Leungs had all gone to hell and Sai was dealing with it alone while Ben sat at home whining about not seeing his boyfriend.

  He didn’t really expect a response to his text; he didn’t get one. Later in the afternoon, he tried calling, and it went to voicemail. Finally he looked up the phone number for Sai’s law firm online and tried that instead.

  The woman on the other end of the line answered the phone in Cantonese, and when Ben asked for Sai in English, she didn’t seem to understand him.

  “Sai Hei K—” The line switched abruptly to classical music as Ben tried to remember how to say Sai’s name in Chinese. “What the he—”

  “Hello?” A different woman answered the phone this time.

  “Hi, yes. I’m looking for Sai Hei Kwok, please.”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but Mr. Kwok is unavailable.” The woman spoke with the proper enunciation of a well-educated local Hong Kong-er.

  Ben sighed. “Okay, fine. But is he in the office? Can I stop by to see him?”

  “Again, my apologies, but I am not at liberty to disclose Mr. Kwok’s schedule, and I’m afraid he’s not available for an appointment until next week.” The rebuff was cool but professional.

  Except Ben couldn’t wait until next week. “Look, can you just tell me if he’s working late again tonight?”

  A polite chuckle came over the line. “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t say.”

  “Okay, fine. Thanks anyway.” Ben hung up and dropped his phone onto his desk a little too hard.

  He turned to the internet again. It was hard trying to find information in English when the issue was so local in nature, but with some creative searching and lots of translating software, he managed to figure out that the Leungs were due in court again tomorrow. That meant Sai was definitely working late that night—perfect.

  THERE WAS some kind of commotion outside, and loud voices floated through his office door, but Sai ignored them to focus on his preparation for the court appearance tomorrow. Their case was thin, almost nonexistent—the fire had broken out because the factory was not up to fire codes. When he confronted the Leungs about it after the incident, they were tight-lipped, which could only mean one thing: they had somehow paid off the fire department to approve their inspection, even though the building was a hazard. Sai felt sick after that conversation. Lives were lost, and he was involved all because of some irrational need to appease his parents.

  A knock sounded at his door, and Sammie, his assistant, stuck her head in. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Kwok, but there’s someone here who’s insisting to see you. I already told him that you had asked not to be disturbed.”

  “Sai? It’s me. Can you let me in? I just want to talk.” Ben’s voice carried through the crack in the door, and Sai dropped the pen he was holding.

  What was Ben doing here? His heart fluttered at the prospect of seeing Ben again after more than a week apart. But then it sank when he realized he’d been using work as an excuse. Because as much as he wanted to dismiss Winston and Amy’s intervention, their words had stuck with him. The past week had been one of the worst in his life, not just because the case with the Leungs was blowing up in his face, but also because he didn’t have Ben to lean on for support. How had Ben become such an important part of his life so quickly?

  “Let him in.”

  Sammie looked like she wanted to object, but instead she gave him a curt nod and withdrew. The door swung open as Ben entered, larger than life, all sunshine and blue skies, with a huge smile on his face. Sai couldn’t help but smile back.

  Seeing Ben in his office left Sai momentarily speechless. The door clicked shut behind Ben, and he glanced around before setting some bags on the coffee table in front of Sai’s desk. Ben turned to face him, and the little hey he uttered seemed to pull all the stress of the past week out of Sai’s limbs. He slouched back into his plush upholstered office chair.

  “Hi.”

  Ben came around his desk, head ducked slightly, those baby blues peeking out beneath long blond lashes, and Sai felt like his heart would explode out of his chest. He pushed his chair back to give Ben room as he leaned against his desk.

  “Sorry to just show up like this,” Ben said. “I brought food.” He nodded to the bags on the coffee table.

  Sai shook his head, dismissing the apology. He was glad Ben was there, more so than he thought he would be. And that just proved Winston and Amy were right: he was in dangerous territory. No, he was way past dangerous territory. He was already off the deep end. Being in the same room with Ben did more for his frayed nerves than the scant hours of sleep he’d gotten on his office couch or the endless cups of coffee he’d consumed.

  Sai reached for Ben’s hand on the edge of his desk and brought it to his lips. Touching Ben, even something so simple, brought new life to his tired body. He pulled Ben into his lap. It was a little awkward—Ben was a bit too big to fit. But they made it work with Ben curling around him and Sai wrapping his arms around this man who had somehow worked his way into his heart so quickly.

  “What are you doing here?” Sai whispered against Ben’s temple.

  “I heard about what happened with the Leungs’ factory. I saw your picture in the newspaper.”

  Sai responded with a kiss on top of Ben’s head. Nothing else needed to be said; everything could wait until later. They just sat there, holding each other, soaking in each other’s presence and refilling the wells that had gone dry. Sai’s fingers found their way to the nape of Ben�
�s neck, twirling at the soft hairs that had grown too long. He needed a haircut.

  “Thank you.” Sai finally broke the silence. Thank you for coming, for bringing dinner, for understanding, for being who you are.

  He could feel Ben smiling where his face was pressed against Sai’s neck. “You’re welcome.”

  Sai gave Ben’s hip a quick slap. “What did you bring me?”

  Ben slowly unfolded himself from Sai’s lap, and as he stood, Sai resisted the urge to pull him back down. Instead he caught Ben’s hand and followed him to the coffee table.

  “Just rice and barbecue meats. I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I got a bit of everything.” He pulled the paper boxes out of the bags and opened them on the table.

  “Where did you go to get the food?”

  “Yung Kee,” Ben said, citing one of the more famous restaurants in the city.

  “And you got the roast goose?” Sai raised an expectant eyebrow.

  Ben held up the box in his hand, showcasing half of a neatly chopped roast goose, glistening in its own fat and juicy sauce.

  “Good boy.” The words slipped out before Sai really put any thought into them.

  Ben’s eyes grew wide, and Sai silently cursed himself for his unconscious comment. But then Ben dropped his gaze, his ears turned pink, and a shy little smile graced his lips, stealing Sai’s breath away.

  He moved around the coffee table and sat on the couch. Ben settled in on the floor by his feet and leaned against his knee. He brushed his fingers through Ben’s hair, combing it back as Ben made cute little whimpering sounds.

  It was too much. He tightened his fingers in Ben’s hair and pulled his head back before leaning down for a kiss. Their lips touched, and it felt like coming home. Ben strained up toward him, and Sai slipped his tongue inside Ben’s mouth, savoring the moans Ben gave him. His stomach gurgled with hunger and he ended their kiss with great reluctance, but he liked the dazed look in Ben’s eyes and the way Ben’s lips swelled to a rosy red.