Three Months to Forever Read online

  Monday, September 25

  “HEY, MOM!” Ben made himself comfortable on his bed and propped his phone up on a pillow for a better angle.

  “Hi, Ben.” Maureen’s face looked a little distorted on the screen as she leaned toward the camera. “How was last week?”

  “Good! It was great! How are you?”

  “Things are fine around here. Your father and I have our annual health checkups this week. Full blood tests and everything.”

  A little sliver of worry snaked into Ben’s mind. “But you guys are both healthy and all that, right?”

  “Oh, sure. It’s just a routine thing us old folks have to do.” She smiled at her own joke. “But tell me about how life is going in Hong Kong. Have you met anyone?”

  Ben rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep his ears from turning pink.

  “Oh, you have!” Maureen sounded unreasonably gleeful to Ben. “Tell me who you met!”

  “It’s noth—” He was about to dismiss it, but whatever it was he felt for Sai really couldn’t be dismissed. “It’s different.”

  Maureen drew her brows together. “What do you mean different?”

  A smile tugged at Ben’s lips as he thought about Sai. “He’s a bit older, he’s a lawyer, and he’s super smart—knows everything about everything. I could just sit and listen to him talk about stuff all day.”

  “Stuff? What kind of stuff?”

  “Literally everything.” Ben chuckled as he recounted some of their phone conversations from the past week. “The economy, politics, history. We were talking about territorial waters in the South China Sea the other day.”

  “That’s quite impressive!” Maureen returned Ben’s smile. “And what’s his name?”

  “Sai. It’s short for his full Chinese name. He’s a native Hong Kong-er.”

  Her smile deepened. “You know, Ben, I’ve never quite seen you like this before.”

  “Like what?” Ben drew his brows together.

  “So….” She paused, searching for the right word. “So joyful.”

  Ben burst out laughing. “Joyful?”

  “Yes, joyful. Your eyes look like they’re dancing, and your smile when you talk about him….” Maureen’s smile took on a doting hue. “You must really like him.”

  “Yeah,” Ben whispered. “I do.” He liked Sai a little too much, if he was honest. And the thing with the Leungs felt like a boulder balanced on the edge of a cliff, just waiting for the wrong moment to come crashing down on him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “What?” Ben shook off the melodramatic thought. “Oh, I’ll figure it out.”

  Maureen’s frown made it clear she didn’t believe him. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, it’s just….” Ben was never very good at keeping secrets from his mom. “He’s so different from everyone else I’ve ever dated. And… there are some things I don’t really understand.”

  “What kinds of things?”

  There was no easy way to describe it, so Ben launched into the long explanation and ended with a sigh.

  “Hm.” Maureen made a pondering sound. “That seems like a difficult situation.”

  He blinked when his mom didn’t give him more. “And? What should I do?”

  She barked a laugh. “Oh, honey. I don’t know.”

  “That’s not helpful, Mom.” Ben frowned at his computer screen.

  “I’m sorry, dear. I know you really like this man, but you’ve only just met, haven’t you? Why don’t you take things slowly and see where it leads? If things don’t work out in the end, then it won’t really be an issue, will it?”

  If things don’t work out in the end… like when Ben’s assignment ends and he returns to Canada. As if things weren’t complicated enough. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Mom.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. I wish I had the answers you were looking for.”

  Ben smiled sadly and shook his head. “It’s okay, Mom. Thanks anyway.”

  “Well, I hate to jump ship like this, but I promised Mrs. Kirkpatrick that I would take her grocery shopping today.”

  Ben nodded at the mention of their old neighbor. “Tell her hello and give her a hug for me.”

  “I will. Take care of yourself, okay, honey? I love you.” Maureen waved at the camera.

  Ben waved back. “I love you too.”

  Chapter Nine

  Saturday, September 30

  BEN THREW himself into the air and landed on the hotel bed with a flumph. Even spread-eagle, his hands were nowhere near the edges—God, he loved king-size beds. He was exhausted. He wanted a nap. No, he wanted a shower to wash off the grime of dust and sweat from walking about Macau all morning, and then he wanted a nap.

  They had arrived on Friday night for the National Day holiday long weekend. They’d been late to Macau after waiting for Sai to finish some last-minute stuff at work. When they arrived, they’d gone and gorged themselves at the hotel buffet before meeting up with Winston and Jacques and a few of their other friends who had taken the ferry over from Hong Kong earlier in the evening. Ben hadn’t met the others before; they were a mix of foreigners and locals, men and women, and one couple who even brought their kid.

  Those without kids had ended up partying late into the night at Club Cubic across the street from the Venetian Hotel, where they were staying. And then Sai had dragged Ben out of bed at the butt crack of dawn to go sightseeing while everyone else got to sleep in. Ben was quickly learning Sai was one of those people who needed almost no sleep—the bastard.

  He supposed he should be grateful to Sai for making him go out so early in the morning. It was still cool at that hour. They walked through Senado Square, the historic center of the small city, nearly empty at that time of the morning, and they saw the remaining facade of the ruins of St. Paul’s church, looming into the sky at the top of a long set of steps. They wandered the old Guia fortress that had a garden on its roof and took a stroll through the sprawling grounds of an ancient Chinese A-Ma temple.

  By the time they stopped at a neighborhood called Taipa Village for lunch, the sun had been high in the sky, beating down on them with a ferocity that felt like revenge for some unnamed offense. Sai led them to a little hole-in-the-wall place for a Portuguese pork bun. It was greasy and salty, and Ben nearly died and went to heaven after the first bite. It was followed by Portuguese egg tarts, which were delicious, and Ben had seconds because he could.

  All day Sai spouted off historic fact after historic fact, as if he had an encyclopedia’s worth of information about Macau stored in his brain. When Ben asked how he knew everything he knew, Sai had blinked at him and said, “It’s just history,” like it was the most normal thing in the world. Ben had almost pulled him in for a kiss for being so cute.

  “Are you alive in there?” Sai called from the living room of their suite.

  “Barely.” Ben made a point to sound more pitiful than he felt.

  Sai wandered in, looking just as put together as he had when they first set out in the morning. How did he manage that in the heat? The guy didn’t sleep, didn’t sweat. Was he even human?

  Ben felt the burn of Sai’s gaze wander over his body, matched with the teasing grin and dark look in his eyes. Wait—did Sai find this attractive? He was lying spread-eagle on the bed, his hair a tangled mess, his clothes askew with patches of damp where he sweated through the fabric.

  “I thought you said you were going to shower.” Sai stood in between Ben’s feet where they hung off the edge of the bed and wrapped a hand firmly around Ben’s ankle. The touch was solid, but Sai slid his thumb slowly in circles across his skin. It was at once a caress and a hold, gentle and secure. How could just one touch send Ben’s insides fluttering and drive all rational thought out of his head?

  “We have some time before meeting the others for dinner.”

  Ben almost missed Sai’s rumbling words, distracted as he was by the hand on his ankle. “Huh?”

  An amused smile graced Sai’s lips. “W
hat do you want to do before dinner? We could take a gondola ride….”

  Ben perked at the mention of the gondolas. He’d forgotten the Venetian in Macau was essentially a replica of the Venetian in Las Vegas, complete with a canal and gondolas for hire.

  Sai laughed at his reaction, slapping Ben’s ankle lightly. “That’s what I thought. Go take a shower, and then we can go downstairs.”

  He was tempted to invite Sai into the shower with him—it was definitely big enough for both of them—but Sai had already wandered back out to the living room, cell phone in hand. And then a minute later, the sounds of the TV filtered in. Ben sighed. So he’d shower alone. But damn, he’d like to get wet with Sai at some point. The thought made his dick plump as he stripped and stepped under the warm spray.

  Sai popped in for a shower after Ben was done, and when he came out with his black hair slicked back and wet, Ben wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it and drag Sai to bed. He settled for some lingering kisses, lazy and sweet, right before they headed out.

  Finding a gondola wasn’t difficult—they were lined up waiting for passengers, and the canal looked a little crowded with the number of slim boats drifting past each other. They settled in one, and Ben snuggled down when Sai reached his arm around the back of the seat.

  “Tell me, Ben,” Sai said quietly. “Why did you really want to come to Hong Kong?”

  Surprised by the question, Ben glanced over to find Sai gazing out at the stores that lined the canal. “What do you mean?” They’d had this discussion before, a number of times, if Ben remembered correctly.

  Sai didn’t look at him when he continued. “You have a good life in Toronto. A good job. A good apartment. Many friends. I’ve been to Toronto before. It’s a very nice city. You have a good relationship with your family, and they don’t live far away. Why would you want to leave that all behind?”

  Because he wanted to try something new—that was what he told everyone who asked him that question. But Sai had heard that answer before; that wasn’t the answer Sai was looking for. Why did he want to try something new?

  “Because that’s all really boring.” Ben’s heart thudded in his chest as he put words to an idea that he’d only ever allowed to exist in his mind. “It’s the same thing every single day. The same routine of work and home, work and home. Going drinking with friends in the evenings and then more drinking with friends on the weekends. I go visit my parents every once in a while, but other than that, it’s the same thing day in and day out.”

  He knew he sounded like a spoiled brat, discontent with the happy, comfortable life he had the fortune of being born into.

  “But you want something more.” It was a statement. Not a question. As if Sai had read the yearnings of his heart.

  “Yeah. I mean, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I’m really lucky to have what I have. But I’ve always wondered if that’s all there was to life. Just….” Ben sighed. “The same old thing.” He paused, his next words caught in his throat. But when Sai didn’t fill the silence between them, Ben let them out into the world in a whisper. “Isn’t there something more substantial than just that? More… significant?”

  Their gondola driver was singing; he had a nice voice. But Ben wasn’t listening to what he sung. He wasn’t looking at the colorfully painted ceiling or the bright lights of the stores they drifted past. It was just him and Sai in the open privacy of their gondola ride.

  It was several moments before Sai spoke. “Have you found those things in Hong Kong?”

  He felt more than saw Sai gazing at him, those dark eyes watching for each change in expression. Hong Kong was fun, different, exciting. But did it make life more significant? “I don’t know.” Ben turned and met Sai’s eyes. “It’s challenging. Figuring out a new city. The culture is so different from what I’m used to. The language….” He shook his head and threw his hands in the air in defeat. “But I like it. I like that I don’t feel completely comfortable here.”

  Sai’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

  “Yeah, that’s weird, isn’t it?”

  Sai cocked his head, and his lips tilted into a teasing grin. “A little.”

  “Shut up.”

  Sai’s grin grew to a full-blown smile and then laughter, the sound rolling through Ben in waves of satisfaction. He loved that he could make Sai laugh.

  “I like it here.” Ben said it again in all seriousness, gazing at Sai and realizing he didn’t just mean the city.

  The laughter faded from Sai’s eyes and was replaced by that dark, brooding look that made Ben’s insides tremble. He knew Ben wasn’t just talking about the city either. One month down and two to go. Two more months to get to know Sai and fall in love. Ben wasn’t there yet, but he had a feeling he could be, if they continued down this path and let the current of the waters drive them forward. The alternative was to jump off the boat, but even the thought of it made Ben feel like he would drown.

  Sai blinked and looked away first.

  Their gondola ride came to an end, and the boat pulled up to the steps that would take them back to the real world. Ben wanted to stay on the boat and have another go-around. But Sai had already stepped out and was reaching his hand back to help Ben off.

  When he slipped his hand into Sai’s, he got a reassuring little squeeze. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t resolve the question of what the hell they were doing with this little relationship they’d developed—but it was enough for now. Ben squeezed back.

  Sunday, October 1

  WINSTON CORNERED Sai after dinner as they were leaving the hotel restaurant. Amy was with him, one of their childhood friends who had brought along her husband and their son to the group vacation. They both wore stern expressions, and Sai knew he wasn’t going to like whatever it was they wanted to say.

  “You’re in dangerous territory,” Winston started.

  “I agree. I didn’t believe it when I first heard about it. But now that I’ve seen it with my own eyes, it’s true,” Amy chimed in.

  “What are you talking about?” Sai frowned and craned his neck to peer past them to where Ben was strolling farther away with Jacques, oblivious that Sai had been detained.

  “That.” Winston pointed at his face, and Sai batted his hand away. Winston turned to Amy. “Did you see that?”

  “Yes, I did.” Amy nodded and pinned Sai with the same don’t-try-to-fool-me look she used on her son.

  “See what?”

  “The look. It’s your possessive look.” Winston emphasized the word with a mocking half smile.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sai folded his arms across his chest.

  “It’s the look you get when you’re falling for someone,” Amy explained.

  “What?” Sai couldn’t believe he was hearing this. “I don’t have a look.”

  “Yes, you do,” Winston replied. “But that’s not the point. The point is that you’re falling for the guy, but he’s leaving in two months. Don’t break the golden rule: don’t date foreigners, because they leave.”

  “You’re dating a foreigner.”

  “Jacques is different.” Winston waved it off. “He’s not leaving. He’s practically more Chinese than French.”

  “So maybe Ben is different too.”

  Two sets of eyebrows shot up, and Sai glared at them despite knowing he was going to lose the argument.

  “Okay, fine. Maybe he’s not different. But you’re the one who told me to go after Ben in the first place. And now that we’re happy together, you’ve suddenly changed your mind?” Sai scowled pointedly at Winston, who had the decency to look contrite.

  “I didn’t think it would go this far. It was only supposed to be a quick lay,” Winston muttered under his breath.

  “Look, we’re just worried about you. Remember what happened when you broke up with what’s-his-name?” Amy said.

  “Gar Wei,” Winston supplied with a nod. “He was hot.”

  Sai rolled his eyes. “We didn’t
break up. He was transferred to London for work. We weren’t a couple.”

  “And you were devastated,” Amy continued.

  “Devastated,” Winston emphasized. “You worked for one month straight, slept at the office, showered at the gym, had your assistant go buy you new clothes so you wouldn’t have to go home to change. It was disgusting.” Winston wrinkled his nose as if he were remembering how gross Sai had been during that month.

  “You’re exaggerating. It wasn’t that bad.” Sai shook his head even as he lied through his teeth; it had been that bad. “So what is this? Some kind of intervention?” He bit out the words and threw his arms down to his sides. “Are you going to forbid me to see him?”

  Winston and Amy shared a look, and Sai knew they had considered that possibility. That set him off. He curled his fingers into tight fists, digging his fingernails into his palms.

  “Sai.” Amy’s voice was gentle, and she laid a hand on his arm. He resisted the urge to throw it off. “Just… be careful.”

  He took a breath and forced the anger inside to back down. “Fine.”

  They didn’t believe him; it was written plainly on their faces. Hell, he didn’t fully believe himself either. But despite all his attempts to keep things casual, Ben had reeled him in until there was practically no distance between them at all. Sai had no idea how he was supposed to pull back now.

  “Is that all?” He knew he was being obnoxious. They were just looking out for him, and all he’d done was snap at them.

  Amy and Winston exchanged another look. “Yeah,” Amy said as she dropped her hand from his arm. “That’s all.”

  “Good.” He hated how angry and ungrateful that one word sounded. And yet he couldn’t quite take it back as he stalked around them to go find his boyfriend.

  Sai almost stumbled at the thought. Boyfriend—when did he start thinking of Ben as his boyfriend, rather than just someone he was seeing? Boyfriend had a permanence to it, a sense of commitment Sai hadn’t realized he was projecting onto the relationship.